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Dear 2020.... (Hormone Edition)

Dear 2020.... (Hormone Edition)

Dear 2020,

Well, it's about the time to bid you adieu, and boy aren't we all glad to move on!! So much happened this year. I don't even ever want to hear the words "unprecedented" and "quarantine" ever again, right?! Through my times of quarantine, going out less (although I never really went out much before this), and having monthly breakdowns, here are a few things I've learned and some New Year's resolutions for 2021. 

3 Takeaways

1.) It's okay to stress eat.

Look, I'm not going to tell you to how to live your life and I'm not going to pretend that I haven't had my fair share of "bad" foods, especially these last couple of weeks. But I AM here to tell you that stress eating is normal. Not eating due to stress is normal. Nothing about this year was normal, so it's okay if you don't look the same way you did this time last year. Gyms shut down, we had to find new ways to move our bodies, and maybe some people had to learn how to actually cook homemade foods. It's all hard!! There were plenty of days that I ate what I wanted/what was in the fridge/pantry/take out because I was too lazy to cook or drive to the grocery store or didn't feel like eating healthy. And I know that food has a huge impact on not only how our bodies feel/function, but also how our hormones operate. I could have definitely supported my body more with my food choices, but hey, it's 2020 man. Give yourself some grace and know that you have a decision every day to change one food choice for the better. 

2.) Never take for granted the little things. 

My little thing was acne. Or lack thereof. I used to have it really bad in high school. My face literally looked like a chunk of meat. It was depressing, I didn't feel beautiful, and I was super self-conscious. Every single one of those feelings and more resurfaced at one point or another throughout the year. But this time, I was also annoyed and didn't think it was fair. Remember, I had just recently gotten off birth control September 2019 and my acne didn't come back until about Summer 2020. That's about 9 months that I thought I would get lucky and bypass the return of my acne. Since I got on birth control mainly for my acne, it would make sense that it came back. I can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES I came crawling into bed telling Jesse that I didn't feel beautiful or that I wish my face was clear... :( And yes, although I have plenty of options to clear up the acne, I don't want to have to rely on meds for the rest of my life for my acne. I've learned so much about supporting my body with food and supplements and I know I'm capable of healing whatever my body throws at me, including blemishes. I've come to accept the fact that natural healing is a slow process! I've taken plenty steps forward just to take double the steps back. But I haven't given up yet and I won't until I figure out what works for me. It may not seem like a big deal to some people, but to me, it's everything. I feel like your face is mostly what the world sees of you and if they're covered in zits, it's very hard for me to feel like I'm being taken seriously. 

3.) Your body is capable of healing SO much!

I can't tell you how heartbreaking it is to have skin rashes, period problems, hormone imbalances, face breakouts, emotional outbursts, and more. I'd like to think that due to my use of toxic-free products, my transition off hormonal birth control was considerably different than what it might have looked like if I continued to use all my old products that I thought were safe. It's over a year from being off birth control and my body is STILL healing/re-regulating! OVER A YEAR. Granted, this year was stressful, which doesn't help overall healing. But time and time again, I've seen my body heal itself. I've seen what natural products, food, movement, sleep, relaxing, and mindset can do to the process. It's tremendous what our bodies are capable of and we don't give ourselves enough credit!! Whatever you're going through, know you're not alone and know you have way more power than you can imagine. You're not hopeless. You're not broken. You're not a failure for whatever is going on in your life. The biggest piece of advice I can give is to keep learning, implementing new things, and never give up on yourself. Your body is working FOR you, not AGAINST you. Whatever you're dealing with, you can do this.

New Year's Resolutions 

I will push my body out of it's comfort zone at the gym. No more of my mind telling me I'm not strong enough. 
I will experiment with new healthy foods to make and prep. When I have food already prepared, it's easier to stay on track.
I will continue educating others about the importance of a non-toxic lifestyle. It REALLY makes a difference.
I will drink more water. Gotta stay hydrated! 
And finally, I will be shameless in everything I do. There's no room or time to worry about what others think of me and what I do. 

Thank you, 2020, for showing me all that I'm capable of and all that I've accomplished this year. Cheers to new beginnings!!

Love,
Sydney 
Just so you know, I may earn a commission off the links on my blog at no cost to you through various affiliate programs. I appreciate your support and love sharing my favorite products with you! :)
 
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Just so you know, I may earn a commission off the links on my blog at no cost to you through various affiliate programs. I appreciate your support and love sharing my favorite products with you! :)

I Felt Out of Balance

 

It all started with small rashes under my armpits. They grew bigger. They were fiery red. They burned. I couldn’t itch them since they burned so bad. They flaked. They were embarrassing. I didn’t know what they were. Then they showed up on the crook of my elbow and on the top of my right hand. I thought it might be due to a gluten or dairy intolerance, so I changed my diet. It helped temporarily and my rashes didn’t hurt as bad and weren’t as red. But diet changes weren’t enough. I was devastated. My rashes remained for MONTHS!

Then the "fluff" showed up around my belly and hips. Maybe the start of winter contributed as well; either way I swear my pants used to fit me way better…

My hair started falling out. In chunks! I’d always had some hairs come out when I washed my hair, so I was used to it. But not to this extent. I knew something was going on.

My acne became out of control, almost to the extent when I was in high school. Red, painful, cysts that I just couldn’t resist picking. And here I had spent all these years at the dermatologist “healing” my acne for it all to come back with a vengeance.

I was in tears at least once a week. I felt hopeless. I felt so alone. No one could relate besides one girl I followed on Instagram. My boyfriend was supportive, but how could he understand though? He had no idea what I was going through.

I took a deep breath, wiped my tears and trucked on. Then the next week would start all over again with a meltdown because I was fat, my hair was falling out, my acne was returning, and my rashes burned SO. FREAKING. BAD. I was angry, frustrated, confused & hopeless. 

I had heard that stopping birth control could come with some pretty gnarly symptoms. And I thought I was ready for whatever would happen. But I didn’t realize how mentally and emotionally challenging these symptoms would be.

Like many people, I started taking birth control in high school. I took it mostly for my acne, but pregnancy prevention was nice too. My hormones were manipulated for over 7 years. The birth control was prescribed by my doctor, so why would I ever question how it was affecting my body?

Turns out, I had NO idea just how much it affected me. All of me. It wasn’t until I read this book that I understood how much my body was impacted by these synthetic hormones that I didn't even realize were synthetic at the time. How hormonal birth control can be prescribed to “treat” certain conditions, yet it’s really only a bandaid fix. I didn’t want that bandaid fix anymore and I wanted to heal myself naturally. So I took the leap and ditched my birth control.

Aside from some of the challenges of getting off birth control, I noticed a whole new world of positives that came from it. For the first time in my life, I actually had energy! I no longer needed to sleep half the day away. The mental fog was gone! My mood increased, as well as my libido, which I swear was gone for good. I finally felt like I was in control of my health for the first time. Truly healthy and truly better.

My goal is to be that shining beacon of light for you if you are struggling with the decision to finally get off hormonal birth control. You are not alone in worrying how your body will react. You are not alone in this transition and your experiences. It might be challenging. But we are strong. We are healers. We are self-advocates. And only we know what’s best for our bodies.

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